IFS and Empathy: The Hidden Protector
You might be surprised to find that empathy is seen as a protective part in IFS therapy. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand, feel, and resonate with the emotions or experiences of another person. Someone who may identify as an empath has a heightened ability to feel, sense, and often absorb the emotions, energy, or moods of others. This means that they might actually feel the empathy in their body as if it were their own.
While empathy can be seen as a great strength and often a superpower in connecting and understanding others’ experiences, when overworked, it may leave you feeling drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed. Sometimes, it may also impact your ability to feel your own feelings and tend to your own needs, and you might find that your empathic part prioritizes the needs of others over your own (and if you do, you’re not alone!).
If you’re curious about Internal Family Systems and would like an overview of the model before we dive in, I invite you to read this blog post here!
Please note this post is intended for educational purposes, and not a replacement for therapy.
How Empathy Can be Protective in IFS
Here are a few ways in which Internal Family Systems may work with and view and empathic part:
As a Manager: An empathic part works proactively to maintain harmony, avoid conflict, or protect more vulnerable parts (like exiles) from being exposed. This part often tries to take action by being attuned, accommodating, and compassionate. In that way, empathy may get blended to other parts such as people pleasing parts, to say “yes” to a plan or request to avoid feeling shame, guilt, or fear of disappointing others in saying “no.”
Empathy as a distraction: Sometimes, an empathic part becomes so focused on others' emotions that it deflects attention away from your own. This can look like:
Feeling responsible for others’ feelings.
Absorbing emotional burdens to avoid connecting with your own feelings and parts.
Identifying strongly as “the helper” or “caretaker” as a way to gain worth or avoid deeper insecurities.
In this way, empathy serves to protect exiles who may carry feelings of unworthiness, abandonment, or neglect.
Working with Empathy in IFS Therapy
As someone with a strong empathic part myself, I believe IFS therapy is profound for inner healing and self-discovery. For empathic parts specifically, here are ways in which we might explore and process in practice together:
Notice the Empathy: In IFS, we begin by noticing where you feel this part, and create a visual of it.
Acknowledge its strengths: Explore how it’s been helpful (or maybe how it is helpful).
How young is this part?: Notice when this part may have become more present or active in your life.
Fears: What fears does this part have, if it were to stop doing its job?
Extend compassion: When we show our parts compassion, we begin to see and work with them in a different way.
Space: In this stage of IFS, we may explore if this part is ready to take a step back. Maybe to see if this part is ready to not work as hard. As a result, what other qualities of Self—curiosity, connection, creativity, courage—is there room to let in?
Get started with IFS therapy in Denver
If, like me, you were surprised to learn that empathy is seen as a protector in IFS, it’s a powerful way to acknowledge the ways in which empathy may be helpful, but also what happens when this part is working very hard. If you’re curious about IFS therapy in Denver, I am trained as an IFS-Informed therapist, and would love to support you towards your goals. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and get started!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Eating Disorder & Trauma Therapist in Denver
Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma therapist passionate about helping people heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.
My background includes working with organizations like the National Eating Disorders Association, Project HEAL, and the One Love Foundation. I’ve also worked in eating disorder treatment centers and am actively involved with the Eating Disorder Foundation and IAEDP’s Denver chapter. Currently, I’m on the path to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).
With specialized training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and eating disorder treatment, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.
Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.