IFS and Polarized Parts
I’ve found the concept of polarized parts to be one of the most fascinating (and complex!) aspects of Internal Family Systems: The idea that two parts are in conflict in the internal system. Typically, these are protective parts, each who hold opposing desires, fears, or strategies in the roles they are trying to serve. Understanding when parts are polarized is helpful for healing because it creates more space for unblending, compassion, and Self-Energy in IFS.
What are Polarized Parts in IFS?
Polarized parts are usually trying to help in their own way, but they struggle to align because they see different paths to safety or control.
For example, with people pleaser parts, one part may feel guilty or anxious to say no to plans or set a boundary, while another part may feel resentful for constantly being overbooked and bending over backwards for others.
These parts can get polarized when:
The people pleaser part overextends, triggering the resentful part.
The resentful part wants to say no or withdraw, which makes the people pleaser part panic about disappointing others.
However, they are both trying to protect in their own ways-
The people pleaser part typically protects from external rejection.
The resentful part protects from burnout and overextension.
Characteristics of Polarized Parts
They tend to escalate one another: the more one pushes, the more the other resists.
They hold opposing narratives and fears about what might happen if they weren’t in the “driver’s seat”.
Their polarization can limit access to Self-Energy
Processing Polarization
In IFS, an important part in the process of polarization is the part in the middle. This is a part that isn’t polarized itself, but is the part that might be feeling stressed, indecisive, or guilty. Here are some techniques in IFS therapy that can help process polarization.
Please note: this blog post is intended for educational purposes only. To try IFS therapy, please reach out to a therapist.
1. Recognize the part in the middle
Gently recognize this part and help it be seen so that it can give you some space. I believe naming is an important tool in healing.
2. Listen with Compassion
Connect and listen to what the middle part is experiencing. It may feel unseen or forgotten while the polarized parts are in conflict.
3. Acknowledge its experience
Often, this part is holding the emotional burden of trying to keep peace or hold the system together. Validating that effort can bring deep relief.
5. Tend to the Polarized Parts Separately
Once the middle part is ready to take a step back, it may be time to tend to the polarized parts separately. One by one, exploring these protectors’ thoughts, feelings, and fears allows these parts to be seen in a different way. You may notice more clarity, as well as connection and curiosity through the unblending process.
Getting Started with IFS Therapy in Denver
Are you in Colorado and curious about IFS? I'd love to work together! I am trained as an IFS-Informed therapist and enjoy incorporating other modalities such as EMDR and narrative therapy for healing. Reach out today to schedule a consultation and begin your healing journey!
About the Author
Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Eating Disorder & Trauma Therapist in Denver
Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma therapist passionate about helping individuals heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.
My background includes working with nonprofit organizations and treatment centers before transitioning to private practice. I am actively involved with the Eating Disorder Foundation and the Denver chapter of the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP). Currently, I’m on the path to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).
With specialized training in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Informed therapy, EMDR, and eating disorders, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.
Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.