Eating Disorder Therapy Denver: Why Letting Go Can Feel So Threatening to Eating Disorder Parts
An IFS perspective on eating disorder recovery
Please note: This content is provided for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional medical, psychological, or nutritional care. This blog post is not intended to encourage, validate, or reinforce eating disorder behaviors. Rather, this perspective is offered to explain a therapeutic framework for understanding such behaviors within the context of recovery, with the overall goal showing how approaching resistance and fear through IFS can help individuals find success on their path of eating disorder recovery.
In the process of eating disorder recovery, individuals often encounter an internal conflict: one part may be oriented toward healing and change, while another experiences significant fear or resistance when asked to relinquish eating disorder behaviors. This tension can be confusing and, at times, discouraging, particularly when motivation for recovery is present, yet sustained change feels difficult.
From an Internal Family Systems (IFS) perspective, this experience is not indicative of a lack of readiness or commitment to recovery. Rather, it reflects the presence of protective internal dynamics that developed in response to earlier experiences and continue to serve an important function.
Eating Disorder Behaviors as Protective Strategies
IFS conceptualizes eating disorder behaviors as protective strategies enacted by specific parts of the internal system. These behaviors are frequently driven by manager parts whose primary role is to maintain stability, prevent emotional overwhelm, and reduce perceived risk.
Such parts may rely on restriction, bingeing, purging, compulsive movement, or rigid rules around food and body as methods of control. While these strategies can be physically and emotionally harmful over time, they are often experienced by the system as crucial for maintaining safety.
From the perspective of these protective parts, control may be associated with:
Predictability and structure
A sense of agency in the face of vulnerability
Protection from intense affect or unresolved relational wounds
Reduced exposure to shame, fear, or rejection
As a result, letting go of eating disorder behaviors might not be experienced as neutral or relieving. Instead, it might be perceived as a significant threat to the system’s stability.
Why Control Often Feels Safer Than Change
For individuals with histories of trauma, emotional neglect, or constant invalidation, flexibility and unpredictability can be associated with danger. Control may have been one of the few available methods for managing internal distress or external unpredictability.
When recovery introduces increased nourishment, body changes, emotional awareness, or reduced reliance on rules, protective parts may interpret these shifts as destabilizing. Even changes that are clinically beneficial can activate fear when they resemble past experiences of loss of control or overwhelm.
In this context, resistance is better understood as a protective response rather than opposition to healing.
The Role of Exiled Parts
Beneath eating disorder protectors are often exiled parts—parts that carry memories of pain, shame, fear, or unmet needs. Protective parts work to prevent these exiles from becoming activated, as their emotional intensity may feel unmanageable.
Letting go of eating disorder behaviors can raise concerns within the system that:
Suppressed emotions will become overwhelming
Traumatic memories may resurface
Coping resources will be insufficient
External support may not be reliably available
From an IFS framework, the reluctance to release control reflects an effort to prevent emotional flooding rather than an unwillingness to recover.
Limitations of a Force-Based Approach to Recovery
Approaches to recovery that rely on pressure, self-criticism, or attempts to eliminate symptoms often increase internal polarization. When protective parts feel judged, dismissed, or threatened, they are more likely to intensify their strategies.
IFS emphasizes that sustainable change occurs through collaboration rather than confrontation. Protective parts are more likely to relax their roles when they feel understood and when trust in the internal system increases.
A Relational Approach to Letting Go
IFS invites a shift from attempting to override eating disorder behaviors to understanding the fears that maintain them. Developing a relationship with protective parts involves curiosity, respect, and patience.
Helpful reflective questions may include:
What does this part believe it is preventing?
When did it first take on this role?
What conditions would increase its sense of safety?
As Self-energy becomes more accessible, protective parts may begin to recognize that they no longer need to feel responsible for maintaining safety.
Within an IFS framework, letting go is understood as a gradual process rather than a discrete decision. Change becomes possible as internal trust develops, vulnerable parts are approached carefully, and sufficient support is established both internally and externally.
Recovery progresses as protective parts gain confidence that:
Emotional experiences can be tolerated
Vulnerable parts will not be overwhelmed
Support systems are available and responsive
From this perspective, letting go represents an expansion of capacity to recover rather than a loss of control. Eating disorder recovery is possible.
Ready to Get started?
Fear or resistance during eating disorder recovery is not a sign that change is unwanted or unattainable. Rather, it reflects the presence of protective parts that developed in response to earlier experiences and continue to prioritize safety and stability. When these parts are approached with understanding rather than opposition, the internal system can begin to reorganize and heal in a more sustainable way, supporting lasting change and recovery.
An IFS-informed approach to recovery emphasizes collaboration with protective parts, gradual trust-building, and careful attention to underlying trauma. Over time, this framework supports increased flexibility, decreased eating disorder behaviors, and a greater sense of internal trust.
If you are navigating eating disorder recovery and notice that letting go feels particularly difficult, working with a therapist trained in IFS can provide a supportive and structured way to explore these dynamics. If you are in Colorado, I am a Denver-based therapist trained in IFS-informed therapy, eating disorders, and trauma. Reach out today to get started and to see if we’re a good fit!
About the Author
Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Trauma & Eating Disorder Therapist in Denver
Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma and eating disorder therapist and clinical supervisor passionate about helping people heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.
Prior to private practice, I worked at nonprofit organizations and eating disorder treatment centers. I'm also a proud Denver chapter member of the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP), a clinical supervisor for pre-licensed therapists, and am on my way to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).
With training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and eating disorder treatment, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.
Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.