IFS Therapist Denver: Exploring Common Fears of Protective parts
In Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, protectors are parts of us that take on important roles intended to keep us safe. They may appear as inner critics, caretakers, controllers, or distractors, each with its own strategy for preventing pain. While protectors often feel like they are standing in the way of healing, they carry understanding of past traumas and the wounded parts they seek to protect. They’ve worked hard, often for years, to protect the system from overwhelming memories and emotions.
Part of the process of IFS therapy is working with the fears of protectors. By acknowledging and tending to the fears, protectors can be heard and seen in a different way.
In other types of therapy, fears of protectors may be labeled as “anxieties,” “negative thoughts,” or even “maladaptive thought patterns,” which can make these parts feel invalidated. If we’re told to just “reframe those thoughts” without looking at what’s underneath them, it can be challenging for those thoughts to dissipate. But in IFS, fears are seen as valid and often times realistic, because they are survival strategies or trauma responses that have helped in the past, when we needed them the most.
*Please note that this blog is not a replacement for therapy, and is intended for educational purposes.
Common Fears of Protectors
Protectors tend to worry what will happen if they step back or loosen control. Some common fears protectors carry include:
If the protector takes a step back, exiles (wounded, traumatized parts) will overwhelm the system.
There’s no benefit of revisiting the past.
Turning inward will trigger dangerous behaviors (firefighter parts).
Therapists won’t be able to handle the material and become overwhelmed, leading to rejection or abandonment.
They will lose their “job” or role in your system.
Secrets or traumas will be exposed that the rest of the system can’t handle.
These fears are not irrational—they developed in response to real experiences where vulnerability wasn’t safe. Many times, they’ve worked their entire lives to try to have these things not happen. Protectors often carry narratives rooted in trauma, such as:
“If I don’t keep control, you’ll get hurt.”
“If I don’t stay busy, the pain will catch up.”
“If I let you feel, you’ll fall apart.”
How IFS Therapists Work with Protector Fears
In IFS therapy, the goal isn’t to get rid of protectors, but rather to build trusting relationships with them. When a therapist meets protectors with respect, curiosity, and non-judgment, those parts begin to sense that their fears are understood.
A skilled IFS therapist helps the client’s Self—the calm, compassionate core within—to connect with protectors directly. The therapist might invite curiosity:
What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t have to work so hard?
What would it mean for you to rest?
When protectors feel genuinely seen, they often share what they’re guarding, such as an exile carrying pain, shame, or unmet needs.
This process unfolds gently over time. Protectors typically need reassurance that no one is going to force them to let go before they’re ready. The therapist’s attuned presence, combined with the client’s growing access to Self, allows protectors to begin trusting that there’s another way to keep the system safe—one that doesn’t require constant vigilance or control.
The Freedom That Follows
As protectors start to take a step back, individuals often experience a sense of relief. The system reorganizes around more trust, compassion, and balance. Individuals begin to appreciate the protective intentions that once felt burdensome. This opens the door to deeper healing, where exiles can be witnessed and unburdened, and protectors can discover new, lighter roles.
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IFS reminds us that every part, no matter how frustrating or controlling, is ultimately trying to help. By understanding and honoring the fears of protectors, we create the conditions for real safety, and from there, true healing can emerge.
As a Denver-based IFS-Informed Therapist, I support clients in exploring their systems with curiosity and compassion. Whether you’re navigating through trauma, anxiety, grief, or disordered eating, our work together can help you build a gentler, more trusting relationship with all parts of yourself.
If you are interested in IFS and in Colorado, I invite you to reach out today to get started - (720) 765-7807.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Trauma & Eating Disorder Therapist in Denver
Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma and eating disorder therapist and clinical supervisor passionate about helping people heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.
Prior to private practice, I worked at nonprofit organizations and eating disorder treatment centers. I'm also a proud Denver chapter member of the International Association of Eating Disorders Professionals (IAEDP), a clinical supervisor for pre-licensed therapists, and am on my way to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).
With training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and eating disorder treatment, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.
Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.