One of the goals in Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is the practice of unblending. If you’ve ever found yourself feeling overwhelmed by a powerful emotion, stuck in an automatic reaction, or unable to think clearly because of intense feelings, you’ve likely experienced what it feels like to be “blended” with a part.

Unblending is a key process in IFS that allows you to separate from these intense emotional states, bringing you back to a place of clarity, calmness, and compassion. But what does it really mean to unblend, why is it so important, and how can it help you in your healing journey? Let’s explore.

*Please note that this blog post is intended for educational purposes, and is not a replacement for therapy.

What Does It Mean to Be Blended in IFS?

In IFS, we understand that our internal system is made up of many parts: Different aspects of ourselves that hold specific thoughts, emotions, motivations, and roles. These parts often hold strong feelings or beliefs about the world, ourselves, and others.

When we are “blended” with a part, we may over-identify with that part’s emotions, beliefs, or behaviors. In this, we lose sight of our Self-Energy, the calm, compassionate, and grounded center that is our true essence. When blended, we don’t always have awareness of the protective part in the “driver’s seat.”

For example:

You might feel overwhelmed by anxiety, so much so that it feels like the only thing that exists in the moment.
You may be triggered by anger, and in that moment, feel like you are angry, forgetting that you are a person who is simply experiencing anger.
Or perhaps you feel shame so intensely that it feels like you are inherently flawed, rather than just holding a part that feels ashamed.

In these moments, the part is in the driver’s seat, and your Self-Energy takes a backseat. Blending often makes it difficult to think clearly, respond thoughtfully, or even remember that there are other parts of you beyond the one you're currently experiencing.

STEP INTO A MORE GROUNDED LIFE

Unblending: Gaining Space and Clarity

Unblending is the process of creating space between your Self and the blended part, so that you can separate from the overwhelming emotions or beliefs and observe them with clarity and compassion.

In the process of unblending, you begin to recognize that the feelings, thoughts, or reactions you’re experiencing are not you, but rather are parts of you. This awareness allows you to step back and create distance between yourself and the intensity of the emotion. It’s like taking a deep breath and remembering, I am not just my anxiety, my anger, or my sadness. I am much more than that.

How Does Unblending Work in Practice?

1. Recognize When You’re Blended

The first step is to notice when you’re blended. You might start to feel very intense emotions, thoughts, or urges that feel all-consuming. Pay attention to these moments and gently ask yourself: Am I blended with a part right now?

You might notice things like:

A sense of overwhelm or inability to think clearly.
A strong reaction, such as lashing out in anger or withdrawing in fear.
The feeling that you are the emotion (i.e., "I am so angry" instead of "I’m feeling angry").

2. Pause and Take a Step Back

Once you notice you’re blended, give yourself permission to pause and create space. This could look like taking a few deep breaths, stepping away from the situation, or simply closing your eyes for a moment.

In that pause, ask yourself, What part of me is feeling this way?

3. Speak to the Part with Compassion

Once you’ve identified the part you’re blended with, approach it with curiosity and compassion. You might say something like:

I see that you’re feeling anxious right now. I’m here with you.
I understand you’re feeling angry, and it’s okay to feel that way, but I don’t need to act on that anger right now.

By offering the part a voice, you begin to create a more balanced relationship with it. This can help the part de-escalate, allowing you to regain access to your Self-energy.

4. Shift into Self-Energy

As you unblend, you begin to tap into your Self. This is the grounded, compassionate center that is always within you, even if it feels out of reach during moments of intense emotion.

Ask yourself: How would my Self respond to this part?

My Self is curious, kind, understanding, and patient.
My Self holds no judgment.

LET’S WALK THIS PATH TOGETHER

Why Unblending Matters in IFS

Unblending is important because it allows you to regain control of your internal system and re-establish a sense of agency in your life. When we are blended, we can feel like our emotions or reactions are happening to us—like we have no control over them. But through unblending, we can remember that we are not our emotions; We are the ones experiencing them. This gives us the power to choose how we respond.

In IFS therapy, unblending helps you:

Create emotional clarity
Reclaim Self
Reduce reactive patterns

Unblending as a Path to Self-Compassion

At its heart, unblending is a practice of self-compassion. It’s a way of saying, “I see you, I hear you, and I honor you,” to the parts of you that are struggling. It’s not about getting rid of the parts that feel challenging; it’s about learning to be with them in a way that allows you to feel whole again.

Unblending helps you remember that all parts—even those that seem difficult—have a place in your system. The practice of unblending helps you embrace all of you with love and understanding.

Getting Started with IFS-Informed Therapy in Denver: Begin the Process of Unblending Today

If you’re curious about unblending and how the process can support your healing, I’d be honored to explore this with you. In my Denver-based practice, I use IFS-Informed therapy to support individuals gain more insight towards protective parts and reconnect with Self-Energy. Please reach out today to begin with a free phone consultation.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Gigi Woodall, LMFT
Eating Disorder & Trauma Therapist in Denver

Hi, I’m Gigi—a Denver-based trauma therapist passionate about helping people heal and reconnect with themselves. My work focuses on exploring how early experiences, relationships, and protective parts of the self shape our inner narratives. Through a compassionate and individualized approach, I help clients challenge limiting beliefs and step into a more authentic, intuitive way of living.

My background includes working with organizations like the National Eating Disorders Association, Project HEAL, and the One Love Foundation. I’ve also worked in eating disorder treatment centers and am actively involved with the Eating Disorder Foundation and IAEDP’s Denver chapter. Currently, I’m on the path to becoming a Certified Eating Disorder Specialist (CEDS).

With specialized training in Internal Family Systems (IFS), EMDR, and eating disorder treatment, I provide a safe, supportive space for those navigating recovery, trauma, and self-discovery.

Looking for support on your healing journey? Book a free consultation to see if we’re a good fit.

What is Unblending in IFS? What it Means and Why it Matters